


catch a falling star

by littlelamplight



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, mentions of mjy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 19:06:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16414157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelamplight/pseuds/littlelamplight
Summary: Astra's funeral pod crashes into Alex's apartment.





	catch a falling star

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kendrickhier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kendrickhier/gifts).



At this point, Alex is pretty fucking sure that some deity or other _hates_ her. Or at least, thinks it’s funny to torment her like this. So okay, she might’ve done some fucked up things when she was younger, she might’ve broken a few hearts just because hers felt like it would never heal, but this is pushing it.

 

Alex kicks out at the broken pod in frustration, staring down at Astra’s unmoving face beneath the glass, and mutters, ‘okay, look, I’m _sorry_ I killed you, but did you really have to wreck my apartment?’

 

So she might’ve had one or two drinks. Who could really blame her? The body of the woman she killed just crashed through her apartment wall, and she was sober at the time.

 

How is she supposed to explain this to Kara?

 

Oh, hey Kara. No, nothing’s wrong, except Astra’s pod just crashed through my wall. Yeah, her burial pod. No I’m not drunk. Okay maybe I am, but that’s not the point.

 

The _point_ is that Astra is dead in her apartment.

 

She’s dead.

 

That’s still her fault.

 

She sighs heavily, and runs a faintly trembling hand through her hair. It’s a cliche, but Astra really does look peaceful lying there. Alex sits down beside her pod, sets her drink down beside her, and reaches out to pry the lid off the pod. It comes off with surprising ease, and Alex props her elbow on the rim of the pod to stare down at Astra.

 

She looks… serene. Serene, and beautiful, and Alex feels a lump rising in her throat. ‘Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly annoying? I mean, if you were going to haunt me, you could at least have the decency to remain you know, intangible. Like most ghosts’.

 

Astra doesn’t reply. Because she’s dead.

 

Alex rests her head in her hand, and mutters, ‘but you’d still be dead. Which is still my fault’.

 

Still, Astra doesn’t say anything. Alex feels her mouth twist, and she reaches into the pod to poke the woman’s hand. She runs the tip of her finger along her thumb, and mumbles, ‘and you know the worst of it? About you being dead and all? Kara’.

 

Kara’s face rises behind her eyes, the devastation when she realised Astra was dying, when Astra _died_. The way she’d turn wistful and sad later, when she spoke about how if she just had more _time_. How after she found out that it was Alex who killed her, she stopped talking about her, as if she was afraid of making her feel guilty. As if Alex’s feelings mattered _more_ than hers.

 

‘She misses you so much’, Alex mumbles, ‘and she won’t talk about you anymore. I know its because… because I killed you, but I can tell. And she would’ve been… she would’ve been so happy, if things had been different’.

 

She squeezes her eyes shut. ‘And she was right, you know? If she’d had more time, she would’ve… gotten through to you’. She chokes on a laugh. ‘I mean I _basically_ got through to you, and we didn’t even know each other’.

 

It’s not strictly true. She’d heard so much about Astra from Kara growing up that in a sense, she did feel like she knew her.

 

She knew, first and foremost, how much Astra meant to Kara.

 

And she still killed her.

 

She takes a deep breath, and looks down at Astra again. She follows the lines of her cheekbones with the tip of her finger, and mutters, ‘that’s not really true, is it? I _had_ gotten through to you. You were listening. If J’onn had just…’

 

She’s replayed the moment over and over again in her head. She remembers the look in Astra’s eyes, and how she’d faltered. The startling vulnerability she’d witnessed there.

 

‘You were listening’, she whispers, ‘you were. You would’ve _stopped_. And if I’d stabbed you in the leg, or asked you to stop, I don’t… you would’ve stopped. But I didn’t’.

 

She rubs at her eyes shakily. ‘And I’ve told myself it’s because I didn’t have time to think. That I had no choice. But I did. I did, and I…’ she licks her lips. ‘And now I’m here explaining it all to you and you can’t even here me’.

 

She sighs, rubbing her hands over her face vigorously, and stands. She knows she has to call Kara. She stares down at Astra, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, and breathes. ‘I’m sorry’. Her face feels wet. ‘I wish things could’ve been different’.

 

Astra sits up right, props her elbows on the sides of the pod, and smiles up at her, her eyes bright and gleaming. ‘Hello, Alex’.

 

Alex shrieks, and with very little ceremony, passes out.

 

* * *

 

‘You’ve killed her’.

 

‘I have not’.

 

‘She looks pretty dead to me’.

 

‘She’s unconscious, Alura. Trust me, I know what death looks like’.

 

There’s a heavy sigh. ‘Do you really think that its romantic that she killed you? Because it really isn’t’.

 

‘Lucy kills you every night, apparently’.

 

‘Astra you know damn well that a little death is just a fancy name for an orgasm’.

 

‘Damn, is it? Earth’s culture really is rubbing off on you. Though maybe that’s just Lucy’.

 

There’s a sigh, and a laugh, and a soft, ‘I have missed you’.

 

Alex groans, and puts a hand to her head. Jesus, how much did she drink?

 

‘Oh look, she’s alive. Told you’.

 

‘Oh, shush’. A hand touches her arm. ‘Alex?’

 

Alex opens her eyes to see Alura leaning over her, her brow furrowed slightly. ‘Oh, hey, Alura’. She sits up slowly, rubbing at the back of her head. ‘Sorry, I think I… passed out?’

 

‘You did’. Alex jerks, turning her head so sharply her neck cracks, and her eyes widen when she sees Astra sitting there. ‘Right into my arms, actually. I never would’ve imagined that an agent like you would ever _faint_ ’.

 

Astra is smiling. There’s a twinkle to her eyes Alex has never seen before, and she turns to look at Alura. ‘I’m going mad’.

 

Alura smiles so brightly its almost blinding. She’s never smiled like that before, even when she’s around Lucy. ‘Actually, you’re not’.

 

Alex glances back at Astra again, blinking owlishly. ‘Wait… so you’re…’

 

‘Alive and well’. Astra reaches out to tap her under the chin, and Alex snaps her mouth shut. ‘You haven’t gone mad, I can assure you’.

 

Alex looks between them, her brow furrowing, and then says, ‘wait… wait, so… you were _alive?_ The _whole_ time I was talking?’

 

Alura coughs, and then stands. ‘I’m going to go… let Kara know that things went well’. She shoots Astra a glance. ‘You brought this on yourself’.

 

She vanishes, and Alex turns to stare at Astra. ‘If you heard everything, remember how I said you were really annoying? Yeah, you still are’.

 

Astra laughs. Alex honestly wasn’t sure if the woman _could_ laugh, but she never expected it to be so oddly affecting. Astra laughs with her head tipped back, like she doesn’t care if all the world sees her mirth, and some of the embarrassment and frustration loosens in Alex’s chest. ‘I apologise’, Astra says after a moment, wiping at the corner of her eyes, still smiling that beautiful, blinding smile, ‘in all honesty, I wasn’t intending to play dead for so long’.

 

‘Oh so, what? You started thinking that humiliating me was amusing?’

 

Astra raises her eyebrows. ‘Not at all. It’s just…’ something in her face turns somber, and she says, ‘I just… wasn’t sure if you’d continue to talk like that if I showed you I was awake’.

 

‘And the things I was saying were too important to miss?’

 

‘Yes’, Astra says simply, ‘they were to me’. 

 

Alex opens her mouth, and then shuts it again. Now that her embarrassment is starting to fade, she’s starting to realise what it might’ve been like, for Astra to hear that.

 

That she was sorry for killing her.

 

She takes a deep breath, and says, ‘how come Alura was with you? And she said… something about Kara knowing?’

 

Astra seems to relax a little, and she leans back against her pod with a smile. ‘My dear sister went looking for me, after Kara told her about the funeral rites. She borrowed your director’s car, I believe’. Her mouth crooks. ‘She was just as surprised as you when I woke up. Apparently so much time exposed to the sun does wonders for fatal wounds’.

 

Alex winces. ‘And Kara?’

 

‘Naturally Alura altered her right away. She wanted to let you know, but I… well. I asked her to let me break the news to you first’. Her eyes twinkle. ‘I wanted to make sure you knew that I bore you no grudge for killing me’.

 

‘And to show that you decided to crash through my wall?’

 

‘Alura threw me, actually’.

 

Alex has a vivid image of Alura holding the pod above her head and throwing it like a catapult, and a snort bursts from her. Astra smiles, and Alex shakes her head. ‘And here I thought you just wanted to scare the shit out of me’.

 

Astra’s smile widens. ‘Two things can be true’.

 

Alex rolls her eyes. She hesitates, and then shifts to lean back against the pod beside Astra. She watches her out of the corner of her eye, and then murmurs, ‘I meant it. I am… I’m sorry I killed you’.

 

Astra inclines her head. ‘Thank you. Though I have to admit, I was asking for it’.

 

Alex bites her lip, and says, ‘Astra -’

 

Astra reaches out to touch her knee, and Alex snaps her mouth shut. ‘It’s in the past, Alex. I’m more interested in moving forwards’. She pauses, and an odd look shines in her eyes. ‘Speaking of which… what you said, about wishing things were different… was that true?’

 

Alex’s throat feels very tight. She thinks suddenly of all those times she’d wished Astra was around, for Kara, for Alura, for herself, and nods. ‘I did, yeah’.

 

Astra stares at her for a moment. The corner of her mouth crooks, and she says, ‘may I confess something?’

 

‘Well, I did just pour my heart out to you, so yeah, some levelling would be nice’.

 

Astra chuckles. Then she shifts, reaches out, and touches her cheek. Alex goes very still. It’s an echo of that time that Astra touched her back in the warehouse, but it’s softer, and she doesn’t pull her hand away. ‘I often had the thought’, she says slowly, ‘that if we hadn’t been on opposite sides, I would’ve quite liked to have gotten to know you better. You are… extraordinary’.

 

Alex blinks. Her cheeks flush, but she manages a smile. ‘You’re not bad yourself’.

 

Astra’s eyes twinkle. ‘So’, she says lightly, ‘what do you think?’

 

‘About getting to know you?’ Alex bites her lip. ‘Yeah. That’d be nice’. She hesitates, and then, in the spirit of honesty, adds, ‘I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t had similar thoughts’.

 

Astra’s lips curve in a slow smile, and she shifts closer. Alex feels her heart skip forwards into a faster rhythm, and Astra says, ‘I’ve also thought about kissing you’.

 

‘Same here’.

 

‘Oh?’

 

‘More than I’d like to admit, to be honest’.

 

‘That’s very -’

 

Alex kisses her. It’s partly to shut her up, partly to wipe that smug smile from her face, and entirely because she really, really wants to.

 

When they part, Astra’s eyes are shining, and she runs her thumb along Alex’s bottom lip. ‘Not bad’, she says, ‘for a human’.

 

Alex rolls her eyes. ‘Alien’.

 

‘Government lackey’.

 

‘Eco-terrorist’.

 

Astra laughs delightedly, and leans in to kiss her again.

 

So maybe there’s a deity that doesn’t hate her. Maybe, she thinks, as Astra’s hand slides up into her hair to pull her closer, there’s one that might even like her.

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday buddy!!! enjoy this absolute crack!!!


End file.
